Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
