Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
