He is an equal opportunity slut.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
