chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
