Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
