I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
