I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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