While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
