I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
