Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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