he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
