it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
