I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
