she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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