I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
