Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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