But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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