My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
