ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
