Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
