Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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