Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
