he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
