Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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