dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
