Welp...herpes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
