she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
