What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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