Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize