I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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