He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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