I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
