i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wear drunk well.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
