Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
