Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
