He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
