But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
