Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
