So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
