I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Even the bartender felt bad for me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
