I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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