theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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