how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
