well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
