Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
