We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm both gender and math confused
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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