I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think your dad took our porno
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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