He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this boner is exhausting
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
