walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
