Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
