Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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