Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Randomize
