what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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